CHANCE

One day, an old lady went to the Bank of Canada with a large bag full of money. The old lady insisted to speak to the president of the Bank in order to open a savings account because, she said, she had a lot of money. 
After many discussions an employee took her along to the office of the president.
The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit.
She answered him 165.000$, while putting the money on his desk. 
Curious, he asked her how she succeeded in saving such a lot of money.
The old lady answered him that she made bets. 

The president quite surprised asked her: "Which kind of bets?" 
The old lady answered him: “For example, I bet you 25 000 $ that your testicles are square".
The president started to laugh and pointed out that this kind of bets was impossible to win!

Then, the old lady replied: "Would like you to make this bet?".
«Certainly, answered the president, I guarantee you 25.000$ that my testicles are not square".
The old lady thus said to him: "I agree. But given the importance of the implied sum, I will come back tomorrow at 10 AM with my lawyer as witness if you don’t see any inconvenience".
"No problem“ said the president of the Bank very trustfully.

That evening, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of his mirror examining his testicles, turning them in all directions, again and again, in order to make sure that his damned testicles could not be seen as square and therefore to be sure to win this bet. .
On the next day, 10 AM sharp, the old lady arrived with her lawyer at the office of the president to confirm the bet of 25.000$ for the fact that his testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was in agreement with the commitments taken the day before. 
The old lady thus asked him to drop his trousers, and the remainder, so that she and her lawyer can see everything; what the president kindly did. The old lady came then closer to see and asked him whether she could touch them or not. 
“Of course please do!", said the president to her, given the fact that there is so much money involved, you must be 100% sure. 
And the lady started to do so with a smile..

The president realized that the lawyer was strucking his head against the wall.
He asked the old lady why the lawyer was reacting like that. 
She answered: "It is probably due to the fact that I bet 100.000$ with him that, around 10 AM, I would be holding the testicles of the president of the Bank of Canada in my hands!


Taken from here

DADDY FORGETS MY NAME

by Bruce Lansky

My daddy calls me sweetie pie.
He calls me honey bunny.
He also calls me poopsie,
which I think is kind of funny.
My daddy calls me sugarplum,
and also sleepyhead.
My silly dad forgets my name
when he tucks me into bed.

LAST NIGHT'S NIGHTMARES

By : Kenn Nesbitt

IT'S FINALLY FRIDAY

It’s finally Friday—I’m so glad.
It’s been a crazy week.
I got chewed out on Monday,
and since then it’s all been bleak.
I lost my lunch on Tuesday,
and a parent went insane,
which shocked me so completely
that I almost popped a vein.
I poked my eye on Wednesday,
and the nurse gave me a shot.
She sent me to the doctor
when I fainted on the spot.
On Thursday I was tardy
’cause I kinda overslept.
And the snack that I was craving
came up missing in a theft.
And so it’s finally Friday.
No more pencils, no more books.
No more sitting in detention,
no more teachers’ dirty looks.
By Friday I’m exhausted,
out of energy and breath.
But that’s the day you’ll hear me shout,
“Rejoice, TGIF!”
And twice a month on Friday,
I remember why I stay:
You see, I am the principal—
that’s when I get my pay.

by Paul Orshoski

HOMEWORK, I LOVE YOU

Homework, I love you. I think that you’re great. It’s wonderful fun when you keep me up late. I think you’re the best when I’m totally stressed, preparing and cramming all night for a test. Homework, I love you. What more can I say? I love to do hundreds of problems each day. You boggle my mind and you make me go blind, but still I’m ecstatic that you were assigned. Homework, I love you. I tell you, it’s true. There’s nothing more fun or exciting to do. You’re never a chore, for it’s you I adore. I wish that our teacher would hand you out more. Homework, I love you. You thrill me inside. I’m filled with emotions. I’m fit to be tied. I cannot complain when you frazzle my brain. Of course, that’s because I’m completely insane. by Kenn Nesbitt

LOVELY TEACHER

(sing to the tune of “Clementine”)


Lovely teacher, lovely teacher—
eyes of periwinkle blue.
You are such a pretty creature,
and I’m so in love with you.
How I long for your attention,
so I’m acting like a fool.
Put me down for some detention,
just don’t send me home from school.
Oh, I’m filled with pain and sorrow,
for my teacher is so cute,
but she won’t be here tomorrow,
’cause she’s just a substitute.

by Linda Knaus