SOAL REMIDI KELAS 9 E, F, G, H

Kerjakan soalnya dan kumpulkan paling lambat 

tanggal 25 November 2013 

pukul 09.00 WIB 

di meja Bu Ami.

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RIDDLE TO BE ANSWERED

D'you like a puzzle? D'you like a riddle? I got some for you below. Think hard and if you know the answer you'll probably laugh by yourself. You know it's just fun.

• What has a face and two hands but no arms or legs? 

• What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? 
  
  
• What word begins and ends with an ‘e’ but only has one letter? 
  
  
• What has a neck but no head? 
  
  
• What type of cheese is made backwards?
  
  
• What gets wetter as it dries? 
  
  
• Why did the boy bury his flashlight? 
  
  
• Which letter of the alphabet has the most water? 
  
  
• What starts with a ‘P’, ends with an ‘E’ and has thousands of letters? 
  
  
• What has to be broken before you can use it? 
  
  
• Why can’t a man living in New York be buried in Chicago? 
  
  
• What begins with T, ends with T and has T in it? 
  
  
• How many letters are there in the English alphabet? 
  
  
• Which month has 28 days? 

CHANCE

One day, an old lady went to the Bank of Canada with a large bag full of money. The old lady insisted to speak to the president of the Bank in order to open a savings account because, she said, she had a lot of money. 
After many discussions an employee took her along to the office of the president.
The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit.
She answered him 165.000$, while putting the money on his desk. 
Curious, he asked her how she succeeded in saving such a lot of money.
The old lady answered him that she made bets. 

The president quite surprised asked her: "Which kind of bets?" 
The old lady answered him: “For example, I bet you 25 000 $ that your testicles are square".
The president started to laugh and pointed out that this kind of bets was impossible to win!

Then, the old lady replied: "Would like you to make this bet?".
«Certainly, answered the president, I guarantee you 25.000$ that my testicles are not square".
The old lady thus said to him: "I agree. But given the importance of the implied sum, I will come back tomorrow at 10 AM with my lawyer as witness if you don’t see any inconvenience".
"No problem“ said the president of the Bank very trustfully.

That evening, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of his mirror examining his testicles, turning them in all directions, again and again, in order to make sure that his damned testicles could not be seen as square and therefore to be sure to win this bet. .
On the next day, 10 AM sharp, the old lady arrived with her lawyer at the office of the president to confirm the bet of 25.000$ for the fact that his testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was in agreement with the commitments taken the day before. 
The old lady thus asked him to drop his trousers, and the remainder, so that she and her lawyer can see everything; what the president kindly did. The old lady came then closer to see and asked him whether she could touch them or not. 
“Of course please do!", said the president to her, given the fact that there is so much money involved, you must be 100% sure. 
And the lady started to do so with a smile..

The president realized that the lawyer was strucking his head against the wall.
He asked the old lady why the lawyer was reacting like that. 
She answered: "It is probably due to the fact that I bet 100.000$ with him that, around 10 AM, I would be holding the testicles of the president of the Bank of Canada in my hands!


Taken from here

DADDY FORGETS MY NAME

by Bruce Lansky

My daddy calls me sweetie pie.
He calls me honey bunny.
He also calls me poopsie,
which I think is kind of funny.
My daddy calls me sugarplum,
and also sleepyhead.
My silly dad forgets my name
when he tucks me into bed.

LAST NIGHT'S NIGHTMARES

By : Kenn Nesbitt

IT'S FINALLY FRIDAY

It’s finally Friday—I’m so glad.
It’s been a crazy week.
I got chewed out on Monday,
and since then it’s all been bleak.
I lost my lunch on Tuesday,
and a parent went insane,
which shocked me so completely
that I almost popped a vein.
I poked my eye on Wednesday,
and the nurse gave me a shot.
She sent me to the doctor
when I fainted on the spot.
On Thursday I was tardy
’cause I kinda overslept.
And the snack that I was craving
came up missing in a theft.
And so it’s finally Friday.
No more pencils, no more books.
No more sitting in detention,
no more teachers’ dirty looks.
By Friday I’m exhausted,
out of energy and breath.
But that’s the day you’ll hear me shout,
“Rejoice, TGIF!”
And twice a month on Friday,
I remember why I stay:
You see, I am the principal—
that’s when I get my pay.

by Paul Orshoski

HOMEWORK, I LOVE YOU

Homework, I love you. I think that you’re great. It’s wonderful fun when you keep me up late. I think you’re the best when I’m totally stressed, preparing and cramming all night for a test. Homework, I love you. What more can I say? I love to do hundreds of problems each day. You boggle my mind and you make me go blind, but still I’m ecstatic that you were assigned. Homework, I love you. I tell you, it’s true. There’s nothing more fun or exciting to do. You’re never a chore, for it’s you I adore. I wish that our teacher would hand you out more. Homework, I love you. You thrill me inside. I’m filled with emotions. I’m fit to be tied. I cannot complain when you frazzle my brain. Of course, that’s because I’m completely insane. by Kenn Nesbitt

LOVELY TEACHER

(sing to the tune of “Clementine”)


Lovely teacher, lovely teacher—
eyes of periwinkle blue.
You are such a pretty creature,
and I’m so in love with you.
How I long for your attention,
so I’m acting like a fool.
Put me down for some detention,
just don’t send me home from school.
Oh, I’m filled with pain and sorrow,
for my teacher is so cute,
but she won’t be here tomorrow,
’cause she’s just a substitute.

by Linda Knaus

WRITE DOWN THE ANSWER

If you know all the answers for the questions below, you can write it down in the comment box. So, here we go:



1. Find the feminine forms of : BULL, CAT, MAN, DOCTOR, BUCK, UNCLE, ACTOR, FATHER


2. Find the plural forms of : TABLE, CHILD, THIEF, MOUSE, POTATO, TOOTH, ALGA, GOOSE, WIFE, SHEEP, LIFE


3. Say if these senteces are corret or wrong :
      a. Peter's boat is really beautiful.
    b. I like dog's John. It is so cute!
    c. I had a walk with Thomas's girlfriend.
    d. Women's jobs are very hard!
    e. I went to the dentist.


4. Fill in the gaps with the correct pronouns :

    a. The door opens ________________ when someone comes near it.

    b. Look at your umbrella! You should buy ________________ a new one.    c. There was so much noise, I couldn't make ________________ heard.     d. "- Who taught you Latin?" || "- I taught ________________ ."    e. They lost the match and were ashamed of ________________ .

HOW TO LEARN ENGLISH

"Sometimes my cat comes to me and tells me that she is hungry. Or that her leg hurts. How does my cat tell me these things? I don't speak pussy-cat language"






Tips and ideas on the best ways to learn English faster.

Tips for Beginners

1. You are like a new baby

Babies learn their language slowly.

First they learn to listen. 


Then they learn to talk. 


Finally, they can read and write.

2. Listen to English every day
Listen to English radio. Watch English TV. Go to English movies. Use online lessons.

3. Make an English/ESL friend

Make up conversations. Practise dialogues. Use beginner textbooks.

4. Read English stories

Start with children's storybooks. 

Try ESL readers. 

Read advertisements, signs and labels. 

Try EnglishClub.com for Young Learners.

5. Write down new words

Start a vocabulary (new word) notebook. 

Write words in alphabetical order (A...B...C...). 

Make example sentences. 

Always use an English-English dictionary first.

6. Keep an English diary

Start with one sentence. 

How do you feel? 

How is the weather? 

What did you do today? 

Write another sentence tomorrow.

7. Visit an English speaking country

Learn English more quickly. 

Stay with an English family. 

Hear native speakers talk. Have a fun experience.

taken from here

LEARN TO READ

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE TROUBLE SPELLING*** !!!!TRY THIS!!!!

AOCDRNDICG TO RSCHEEARCH AT CMABRIGDE UINERVTISY, IT DSENO'T MTAETR WAHT OERDR THE LTTERES IN A WROD ARE, THE OLNY IPROAMTNT TIHNG IS TAHT THE FRSIT AND LSAT LTEETR BE IN THE RGHIT PCLAE. TIHS IS BCUSEAE THE HUAMN MNID DEOS NOT RAED ERVEY LTETER BY ISTLEF, BUT THE WROD AS A WLOHE. IF YOU CAN RAED TIHS, PSOT IT TO YUOR WLAL. OLNY 55% OF PLEPOE CAN.


If you can read it, comment please :)

A Hundred Ways To Say Hello

Well, maybe not as many as a hundred, but I will give you more than you ever need.

There are many forms of greetings, both formal and informal, in the United States. Many are common in other English–speaking nations as well.

Simply saying only ”Hello!” is actually not a very common greeting, except when answering the phone. Incidentally, you know you have reached a home with very polite and well-trained children, when one hears a phone greeting like ”Hello, this is the Smith family; Johnny speaking.” Such formality is rare these days in the USA, but occasionally I still hear it.

Now, on to face-to-face contact, in informal situations. When encountering someone on the street, the most likely greeting I will hear is

”Hi, Kim! How are you?”

Even though the greeting is in fact a question, most of the time people do not expect an answer, especially not a detailed one about one’s health. Instead, the most common responses might be:

Fine, and you?

Great. Good to see you, Mary.

However, if the emphasis is on the ”are” in ”How are you?”, and you have recently been ill, maybe it would be appropriate to speak more of your condition in the reply.

Never content with boring conversation, I often answer the ”How are you?” question with one of the following humorous replies.

”Compared to what?”

”Getting better every minute.”

”Older, yet wiser and more handsome.”

”Fair to partly cloudy.” (This is a common weather forecast, and can interpreted as a wry comment on one’s psychological condition as well.)

There are a lot less formal greetings than these, which are used between close friends. Some are rather lewd. I will only mention the nice ones.

If someone asks you, ”How’s it going?”

You might reply ”Great!” or ”Even better than yesterday!”

If your friend greets you with ”What’s up?”, ”What’s happening?”, or ”What’s cooking?”,

You might reply ”Not much!” or ”Same old stuff.” Or, you may tell him the latest news.

If you hear one of our black brothers say, Hey, man! What it is?

You might hear his friend reply, ”Just hanging loose, dude.” Or perhaps ”Just enjoying the scenery, man.”

More Formal Business Greetings

Naturally, business requires a bit more formality! Announcing one’s full name clearly and emphatically so it may be remembered is of paramount importance in business. Most greetings are accompanied by firm handshakes between men, and less firm hand clasping with women. Physical embraces are relatively uncommon in English-speaking countries compared to other parts of the world. Hugs and kisses rarely take place except between relatives, lovers, or between very close friends which have not seen each other for quite a time.

When a boss arrives at the workplace, the universal greeting to each worker is ”Good morning, (worker’s name)!” If your boss walks in without a smile and says nothing, a worker knows that he or she may experience a rough day!

Strangely, the greeting ”Good afternoon!” is used much less often, and ”Good evening!” is even rarer these days. This is true in the USA, but not necessarily in Great Britain. Of course you know that ”Good night!” is used solely as a farewell, and never as a greeting.

But back to the business world! The first thing a salesman will do upon entering my dental office is to shake my hand, and say something like:

”Joe Smith- Dental Contraptions Corporation. Good to meet you, doctor!”

(Or ”A pleasure to meet you!”, or ”Happy to get to talk with you!”, or something similar.)

If I do not throw him our of my office for ignoring my ”No Soliciting” sign, I would probably reply:

”Kim Henry- Glad to meet you!” or

”The pleasure is mine.” (Actually a lie.)

And provided the salesman is not presumptuous enough to address me by my first name, I will probably let the rascal give his whole sales presentation to me.

It is almost a universal belief in most countries that a person’s first impression is the lasting one. Thus it is important to get any meeting, whether social or business, off to a good start with an appropriately polite greeting.

Got it from here

School Rules

by Bruce Lansky

Do not oversleep and miss the school bus-
you'll be late.
That's a habit teachers generally
don't appreciate. 

Never tell your friends at school
that you still wet your bed.
They are sure to tease you,
and you'll wish that you were dead.

Never call your teacher a name
when she's not near you.
Teachers' ears are excellent,
so they can always hear you.

Do not read a textbook when your hands
aren't clean-it's tricky
to separate the pages when the pages
get real sticky.
When you go out for a team
it's always wise to practice.
When you are a substitute,
the bench can feel like cactus.

Do not copy homework from a friend
who is a dummy.
If you do, I'm sure that you
will get a grade that's crummy.

And if your report card's bad,
don't blame it on your buddy.
Kiss up to your parents quick,
or they might make you study.

Got it from here

Kids are smarter than you think

9-year-old Emily was given an assignment in school to write a story on "My family's ancestors" The purpose was for the kids to understand their heritage.

In search of some answers for her assignment Emily proceeded to interview her grandmother who was not aware of the reason for Emily’s questions.

When she asked her grandmother, "Granny, where did I come from," her grandma being quite nervous about talking with a kid about such a touchy subject in the absence of her parents wanted to buy some time and replied, "Well, sweetie, the stork brought you." Hoping that the subject would be dropped until Emily's parents came back she said no more.

"So, where did Mom come from?"

"The stork brought her also."

"Well, then where did you come from?"

"The stork brought me too, sweetie."

"All right, thanks, Granny."

Emily's grandmother did not think anything more about this incident until three days later when she was tidying up and looking at Emily’s desk, read the first sentence of her paper, "For three generations there have been no natural births in our family." 

Got it from here

My Teacher Sees Right Through Me

by Bruce Lansky

I didn’t do my homework.
My teacher asked me, “Why?”
I answered him, “It’s much too hard.”
He said, “You didn’t try.”
I told him, “My dog ate it.”
He said, “You have no dog.”
I said, “I went out running.”
He said, “You never jog.”
I told him, “I had chores to do.”
He said, “You watched TV.”
I said, “I saw the doctor.”
He said, “You were with me.”
My teacher sees right through my fibs,
which makes me very sad.
It’s hard to fool the teacher
when the teacher is your dad.

Got it from here

The smart way to catch Burglars-Funny Story

It was late and Charlie was about to climb into bed when his wife informed him that there was a light on in their garden shed. Charlie started to go outside to turn off the light but noticed some people in the shed who were busy stealing his things.

He ran back inside right away and called the cops, who asked him "Are there any intruders in your house?" to which Charlie replied no and explained his circumstances. The cops told Charlie that all patrol cars were otherwise occupied, and that he should just lock his door and a uniformed cop would be at his house when one was free.

Charlie answered, "Alright," hung up, waited 30 seconds, and then called the cops again.

"Hello, I just called a short while ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. I want to let you know that they're not a problem anymore because I've just shot every one of them."

Charlie then hung up the phone. In five short minutes, three patrol cars, a SWAT team, and an ambulance arrived, and Of course, the cops caught the burglars in the act.

One of the cops snapped at Charlie: "I thought you said that you shot every one of them!"

"I thought you said there were no patrol cars free!" Charlie answered.

Got it from here

First Post

Hai, anak-anak didikku yang kucintai dan kubanggakan, bertemu lagi bersamaaa......




Bu Ami!!! *plok plok plok x1000*


Disini Bu Ami akan memberi kalian posting-posting pintar yang bisa bikin kalian jadi tambah pintar, tepuk tangan anak-anak *plok x2000*

Nah, tunggu saja ya postingan baru dari Bu Ami. *kissbye*